There are times when I wonder just how much of my worldview is shaped by Scripture and how much of it is shaped by the culture, Christian community, and even my own ideas.  Some time in my years of development, I subconsciously adopted the idea that to be a good Christian, one must always be involved in ministry.  And ministry, of course, consists of some religious activity in which you are actively, either teaching believers, or evangelizing nonbelievers with some type of visible result.  I don’t know that anyone ever told me to think this way out right (as a matter of fact my mother should have been an example of the opposite), but I some how developed such an idea that reaches down to the depth of my conscience.  When I don’t fulfill it, I feel guilty, condemned, unfaithful.

So yesterday, when I spent the entire day in the kitchen canning jars of strawberry jam and compote (Ukrainian fruit drink) for the winter, I began to wonder if I am really ready for the life of a wife and mother.  Am I willing to spend my days boiling water, cooking meals, cleaning house, changing diapers, and wiping noses, without at any visible “spiritual” ministry.  Am I willing, when asked, “But what will happen to your ministry and dreams of being a missionary if you get married” for the answer to be picking up the crying tot on the floor, and helping a first grader with his home work, all while trying to sterilize jars to can the cucumbers?  Am I willing for those things to be the heart of my ministry and the demonstration of my love for God and neighbor?  Am I willing to be labeled as another who gave up “ministry” for love, for family…for the “mundane”?  And have I come so far from the truth of God’s word that instructs the older women not to teach the younger women how to lead better Bible studies or develop better evangelism methods, but to love their husbands, their children, and to be workers at home?  Perhaps Paul knew what he was talking about after all.  Perhaps he knew that when a woman does those things, when she has a mothering heart that is ever willing to love, to serve, and to show hospitality, she will be teaching the truth of the Word to all who enter her house and showing the sacrificial love of the cross to every nonbeliever who eats from her table.  

I love being a teacher now.  I love challenging my students to think, to study, to love language, and explore ideas.  I love being able to share the true meaning of Easter with them.  I love being free to meet a fellow teacher for tea on the spur of the moment so that I can share Christ’s love with her.  I hope that these things will be a part of my life for a long time.  But when this ministry gives way to another ministry, will I be content?